zippers are such a cool invention
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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