just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
