I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
