either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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