Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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