no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
