ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The Olympian is in my bed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
