do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
