trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
