We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
