Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
