If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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