I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
