I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
