Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
