scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
