I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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