u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
