Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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