Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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