she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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