just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize