Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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