i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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