Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
