I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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