marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Everything about him screamed your future.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
