I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
