so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
