so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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