swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
