I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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