wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
