yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
