Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
