I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
