You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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