I wish i was in the wii world.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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