i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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