I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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