Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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