I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
