dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
