Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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