I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
