I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The beer is more important than you right now.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
