He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
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