farters have to be the big spoon...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
