You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
