There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
